GETZ Patented Adjustments to a Totally New World

As a friend of mine pointed out in her blog (check out corena musings) there is this unexplained gulp in our collective that some of us mistake for symptoms of COVID-19. This tiny particle that could potentially be the end of us.

But has caused this global panic? On the surface level, it is the fear that we may catch the virus and die. Beyond that, it’s the constant painful reminder that life, won’t go back to usual. It’s a painful thought for me, not to ride in an overcrowded taxi and complain about the discomfort. Even more painful is the realization that most jobs will be lost for the foreseeable future. And usually, to cope with these realities people commiserate but social distancing rules take that out of the picture. Even theatres, might not have the usual packed audiences and the collective experiences might not come back.

This paralyzes me, to think that we might survive but in a very different world. A world where the major things we go to for comfort and solace won’t be there.

But that’s just too depressing to think about. Especially now. So for a few minutes, let the GETZ team indulge in a much happier picture where we still get what we need and want but in different ways. All of these genius (emphasis on genius for sarcasm), ideas are under GETZ patent and we will take legal action if we see them anywhere.

      1)  Virtual Cinema

      This is the most obvious one. Cinemas that go beyond streaming in your home. Virtual projections that allow you to be in a cinema with all the charm and nuances of it. You know, you’ll get to be annoyed at teenagers on their phones while they paid combo tickets to see a mega adventure film but finding the right tint on a picture they took while walking in the cinema to tell people they were watching the film and couldn’t wait to see, is more stimulating. Expensive popcorn delivered to you by an annoyed clerk that will let you know how he/she feels about your customer status with just one look. The douchebags that pick up and talk loudly on their phone smack right in the middle of a very suspenseful scene. It’s everything you love and hate about the movie going experience except, in your living room.  We have no idea how this will work but… we can manage.

      2) Sanitized Experts ©

We all hate them but, for some inexplicable reason, you just go to them. Well, we can bring that to your home. It’s about creating the same annoyances, but amped up to 1000. We will deliver a team of sanitized “experts” that will talk about a wide range of issues that you think you’re interested in but ultimately couldn’t give a flying fu…migration particle about. They will regurgitate ideas; tell you about things you already knew but in a more accountantie tone that you will be fighting the urge between running at the stage (yes we will build one) and destroying every mic and falling asleep. But don’t. It’s disrespectful. Phones will be confiscated upon entry to the conference space

3) Eventzspaze by GETZ

For a more cost effective way of recreating that feeling of dread you experience after attending an “event” with more than 200 people. We will provide the complete packaged experience in a designated area where you will both virtually and physically connect with people and almost immediately regret it. From self-proclaimed aficionados to people that make you go “what are those”. We will ensure that your event going experience will be filled with the classic anxiety and energy draining encounters you sorely miss.

      4) Tourizm

Do you miss nature? Do you miss going outside of the city? Away from all the hustles and bustles of your bedroom. We can arrange a sanitized kidnapping and give you take you anywhere you want. Virtually and then once you’re done with the charms of the locals… we will give you Wi-Fi access so you know.. you can pretend to have actually enjoyed the trip. Best part about it…we will all sign an NDA so you can be as nature friendly as you want to be. And we won’t get sued for the kidnapping bit.

 

 

 

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